Share: Preoccupied

June 1, 2010

We know we’ve slowed down posts recently and want to apologize. We’ve been mortified with the oil spill in the Gulf.

And now double mortified with a second BP oil spill in Alaska.

We like to say we know how to rank issues and the most immediate one is this sickening disaster. So in light of what’s happening to the Gulf, the coastlines, the fishermen there, and everyone’s economic well-being we want to share our ideology of an all out solution to this unchecked dependence that’s ruining our lives. And you know what? It fits right in with the 5th anniversary of the death of our good friend who suffered in her last moments as a cement truck knocked her off her bicycle, running her over on her way to work on June 3rd.

Our ideology for cutting oil dependence is to cut its use. Not the basic suggestions of turning your lights off but with a greater goal of limiting oil’s usage.

We dream of a future where cities are bicycle only. It takes us an hour to ride 30-miles on a bicycle. We understand cities aren’t all 30-miles in circumference, some are larger but you know what? We don’t want to die from an environmental disaster, from a cement truck, or from the aggravation of sitting in rush hour traffic on a fucking Saturday!¬† Right now, your drive to see the city for the weekend from you boring burb is an issue. Your drive to the grocery store, is an issue. Your daily commute to your job is… that’s right, an issue. You’re dependent beyond your control.

Stop letting these ass hat blue-bloods tell us how the economy and society are to work. Stop using their systems. The only way to fix this problem is with new, off the wall, sort of thinking. Cut vehicle traffic out of cities. Use bikes and public transit in cities. Get your groceries, go see your friends, go to work on a bike or train. No cars in the city unless for exceptions, like life or death situations and regulated construction routes. No cars in the city but do use them for great distances like a trip from Louisville to Nashville, NYC to Philadelphia, San Fran to LA…

We realize this is a crude ideology but we think it has a ring of solution to it. And now back to the Facebook monitoring program.

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Share: 6 Ways To Tell Your Employer To Stay The F*ck Out Of Your Personal Life

April 12, 2010

Last week Yahoo! “news” posted some queer ass excuse for a news story called “6 Career-Killing Facebook Mistakes.” The topic was actually on something even lamer than the Yahoo! “news” site called Invest-something or other. BTW, that’s how you know you’re getting duped, OK?

1. You’re reading Yahoo’s excuse for news and…
2. You’re reading something written for a publication with “Invest” in its company name.

Has anyone ever thought about how close Incest is to Invest, by one letter!? I digress. Today we are going to point out how Facebook and privacy have yet again met a new personal privacy challenge. Should your employer have anything to say about how you live your personal life?

It’s a critical question really. Should your shitty HR Rep be able to clip a photo of you beer bonging it at some party you crashed and use it against you? Think about it carefully. Is this a yes or no question? Could the answer be, “it depends?”

In our ideal world here at Facebook watchdog, to us, the answer should be no. In the most technical sense, no.
Your personal life is yours to do with what you want to do with it, regardless if someone posted a picture or story of any event, and your employer should put lid on it.

We thought a lot about the “yes,” “maybe” and “no” before we went with “no.” Let us explore the other two avenues of thought to shed some light on why we choose no.

Yes your employer should be able to stick their needley aardvark nose into your pile of personal life, and control you at that level as well.

Why? Because you are a representative of the company’s image and you’ve gone ahead and posted, or not posted, where it is that you work on your profile thereby perhaps threatening an unintentional defamation of your “oh so moral-ful bastion of ethereal goodness, sin free and excessively loving” company. They are pure, like Jesus. Why do you want to make Jesus cry?

You, YES YOU alone could be the only reason; THE VERY FIRST STAIN of horrendous proportions of which your helpless damsel of a company, will never be able to wash from her chaste bosom. Ahhh me. Tragedy in the making.

Sarcasm? Noooo us? Never. Just remember though – whatever it is that you’re doing outside of work, you’re still doing it for your company. Please be careful how you chug your beer, eat your sandwich, listen to your favorite music, give advice to your children, put your shoes on, take your shoes off, pet your cat, walk your dog, take a nap, or wipe your ass. All of that is rightfully the intellectual property of your employer if they so choose it. Don’t forget to kiss the mandatory portrait of your CEO in your home every time you come or go, and most importantly don’t forget to stand at attention before bed and recite your lifelong dedication to the cause of Capitalism in your very own private bedroom. Sounds like a dream! Where do we sign up?!

Maybe your employer should be able to control your personal life as well as your professional one.

Why? Well OK so maybe you are being careless about whatever it is you put up online. Maybe you should tone down your slutty porn videos and the photographs of your rainbow party. Maybe it isn’t the best idea to put video of your pierced genitalia online. Maybe posting whatever the hell it is you want to post, as freely as you want to post it, is honestly having a global effect on how assholes in “decision-making suits” perceive your right to privacy. All of the above is true enough to warrant a maybe.

If you can’t control yourself then maybe you do need your employer to babysit you and that’s sad.

Why we choose no.

We certainly don’t believe your employer should have a God damned say in what the fuck it is you do with your own time. Where does that invasion of privacy end? Surely you can’t believe them if they say, “Oh it ends at Facebook or MySpace.” Once that sort of invasion begins, and is considered to be all right-a-roony, where the hell does that sort of invasion stop?

Your company is a mini North Korea. There’s no democracy inside your company. When you walk through the doors of your office you leave all that wonderful fresh air and democracy outside. Thank goodness you live in the USA and have the freedom to find solitude in your private affairs, for now.

This is just another example of corporations taking every advantage they can to overstep their boundaries. And most importantly, do you want to pay for more complex rulings and laws to define this issue in, or most likely not in, the people’s favor? Maybe not.

Ohhhh maybe, you fickle thing you. Of the billion people in the world, how many don’t live life responsibly? I’m sure you know perhaps one or two out of 100 friends right? Well do you feel like your whole life should be controlled and watched based on the mistakes of a small percentage of genetically deficient? We didn’t think so either. Maybe has no place in this debate.

So in light of the topic, “6 Ways To Tell Your Employer To Stay The Fuck Out Of Your Personal Life,” we will finish up this opine with just that:

1. Inappropriate Pictures: “Look at them or don’t. What I do with my time surely will bite me in the ass when my mother see’s them but it sure as fuck isn’t any of your professional business. In fact don’t look at them you morally inept but easily offended tight ass. ”

2. Complaining About Your Current Job: “Yea that’s right. The way you manage the company into the ground doesn’t sit right with me and I’m sure if your share holders knew how fucking irresponsible and greedy you were, they’d probably complain too. In fact you might want to check their Facebook accounts to see if they are complaining and then go eat a dick.”

3. Posting Conflicting Information on Your Resume: “Why the fuck are you checking a Facebook account against a resum√©? Is this how you check all company facts? You may as well run the company based on the HOW TO RUN A BUSINESS article on Wikipedia then. Seriously WTF? Aren’t you supposed to know how to do your job without referring to inaccurate records? Try this on for size – call the fucking references on the paper resume in your stupid hand! ”

4. Statuses You Wouldn’t Want Your Boss to See: “Unless my boss is my mother, IDGAF.”

5. Not Understanding Your Security Settings: “And? I’m more concerned about my security settings so my psycho ex’s don’t find me. If my employer is actually spending their 9 to 5 clicking through my profile in hopes that I forgot to hide something, like my psychotic ex’s do, then I think the issue is more why are people at your company stalking other people on Facebook during work? And if they’re doing this at home on their own personal time, that’s even more messed up. Settings are to control stalkers. Come on Capitalism, stop being a stalker. “

6. Losing by Association: “See all the above.”

And so…
I know we’re being snarky and assy in our 1 – 6 list but ultimately it’s meant to grab attention to the point.

The point being that any professional who openly admits to holding a Facebook post or account against a job applicant, is admitting to a serious invasion of personal privacy and ought to be sued. This sort of discrimination is illegal. We create resumes, portfolios and reference lists for a reason. There are laws in place that prevent your employer, or potential employer, from asking personal questions in a conversation with the list of referred. Facebook or any other sort of personal information beyond what we’re supposed to hand in at the interview, is legally barred and shouldn’t be held against you. End of story.

Shame on Yahoo! “news” and their butt buddies over at Invest-o-rama for missing the real point and “reporting” more garbage.

Happy Facebooking!